Day 4 back in the states

I filled an entire journal from my 5.5 weeks in Uganda. I have trouble filling a journal in a year in the states. I read 5 books during my 5.5 weeks in Uganda. I have trouble reading 5 books in 6mos in the states. I learned about a culture, learned basic communication in a new language, I learned about diseases and health care in a third world country, I heard stories about peoples' lives that were so vastly different from anything I have ever experienced, I experienced intense discomfort in the physical and emotional realm, I saw beautiful green land, blue waterfalls, colorful flowers, fruits and vegetables, I walked for miles, I rode on the back of a motor bike for miles, I sat with 20+ other Africans in a crammed taxibus for miles, I listened to children's laughter and singing, I tasted the sweetness of mangoes, pineapples, papaya, sugar cane, jackfruit, and african tea... I laughed with new friends.
I already knew I struggled with American culture.. the hustle and bustle, selfishness, consumerism, excessiveness, pride, greed, etc. I fall into this lifestyle just like any of us that live here... I don't like it. I thought living in Uganda would suit my lifestyle better. I learned there are things in their culture that I struggle with just as much (i.e. passive aggressiveness, misperceptions of white people, poverty cycle/sense of hopelessness, not valuing children, contradictions in christianity, and messed up priorities (i.e. having a cell phone over sending your child to school). I'm seeing similarities in both cultures of the bad stuff... But there are good things in both cultures as well. I learned that we need to set ourselves apart from the culture of the place we're living. Instead we need to live well. Jesus is a fine example of this. He was a non-conformist.. yet he took the good from the culture he was in and used to glorify the Father, to serve the people, to love. I think Jesus was trying to create the anti-culture... or his own culture.. and he had quite a following. Unfortunately Christian culture today has been corrupted by our unfortunate human nature. I feel challenged to be set apart from our culture... to know Jesus better and follow His way.. However, I know I will fall short continuously.
I don't think I have a better grasp on the world from this experience. I came back being more confused and frustrated with the world. I don't understand how I can be so blessed and be born into a family that lives in America that provided me with education and fulfilled all my basic needs without a struggle.. and I see a country where EVERYONE seems to be fighting to fulfill basic needs of food, shelter, clothing.. and education is not readily available or accessible to them. What the heck.. how is that fair? How is that JUST? I know I know.. Life isn't fair, right? God is bigger than all of this... but I still don't get it or find comfort in any of it!

Anne Lamott writes in her book Thoughts on Faith, "But I actually knew a few true things: I had figured out that truth and freedom were pretty much the same. And that everyone was struggling to wake up, to be loved, and not feel so afraid all the time. That's what cars, degrees, booze, and drugs were about."
I resonated with that quote.. because although I saw huge differences between the people in Uganda compared to the people in the U.S. I found that we're fighting the same battle... we are all struggling to wake up, to be loved, and not feel so afraid all the time!.. and many of us (across cultures) fall to similar means to cope (cars, degrees, booze, and drugs).
Kathleen Norris said, "Prayer is not asking for what you think you want, but asking to be changed in ways you can't imagine."
My time in Uganda changed me in way I could not imagine. It reconnected me with prayer by providing me time to stop, sit, and listen. It gave me an opportunity to slow down, and taste and see what is around me. I am forever grateful and forever changed.